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Andy M. Stewart The Humours Of Whiskey

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tom: A A E Let quacks and newspapers be cutting their capers D A E Of curing the vapors the scratch and the gout A E With medical potions, their serums and lotions D A E A Upholding their notions, they're mighty put out A E Who can tell the true physic to all that's pathetic A E And pitch to the divil, cramp, colic and spleen A D E You'll know it I think if you take a big drink A E A With your mouth to the brink of a jug of poteen A E A E So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature D A E A For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys E A D Oh what botheration, no dose in the nation D A E A Can give consolation like whiskey me boys A E No liquid cosmetic to lovers athletic D A E Or bodies pathetic can give such a bloom A E As sweet by the powers in gardens of flowers D A E A Gave their own bowers a darling perfume A E And this liquid so rare if you willingly share A E To be taking your hair when it's frizzled and dead A D E Oh the sod has the merit to yield the true spirit A E A So strong it will shake all the hairs from your head A E A E Then stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature D A E A For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys E A D Oh since its perfection, no doctor's direction D A E A Can cleanse the complexion like whiskey me boys A E While a child in me cradle, me nurse with her ladle D A E Was filling my mouth with a notion of pap A E When a drop from her bottle fell into my throttle D A E A I stumbled and capered clean out of her lap A E On the floor I lay crawlin' and screaming and bawling A E 'Til me mother and father were called to the fore A D E All sobbing and sighing they feared I was dying A E A But soon found I only was crying for more A E A E So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature D A E A For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys E A D Oh lord how they'd chuckle if babes in their truckle D A E A They only could suckle on whiskey me boys A E Through my youthful aggression, through times of depression D A E My childhood's impression still clung to my mind A E And at school or at college the basis of knowledge D A E A I never could gulp 'til with whiskey combined A E And as older I'm growin' times ever bestowin' A E On Erin's potation, a flavor so fine A D E And how e'er they lecture on jove and his nectar A E A Itself is the only true liquid divine A E A E So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature D A E A For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys E A D Oh lord, 'tis the right thing for courting and fighting D A E A There's nowt so exciting as whiskey me boys A E Come guess me this riddle: what beats pipes and fiddle D A E What’s hotter than mustard, and milder than cream? A E What best wets your whistle? What’s clearer than crystal D A E A Sweeter than honey, and stronger than steam? A E What can make the dumb talk? What can make the lame walk? A E A What’s the elixir of life and philosopher’s stone? A D E And what helped Mr. Brunel to dig the Thames tunnel? A E A Sure wasn’t it whiskey from old Innishowen? A E A E So stick to the cratur the best thing in nature D A E A For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys E A D And boys, I'd half wonder if lightning and thunder D A E A Was made from the plunder of whiskey me boys A E You maidens pathetic, with lovers athletic D A E For liquid cosmetic, you can't beat the drop A E With a glow to your cheek, it will make your heart leap D A E A It'll quiet a stallion or cure an old cob A E At the mouth you would drool, be reduced to a fool A E You'd kick up your heels and you'd peel to the buff A D E Then 'tis he'd be pathetic while you'd be athletic A E A If only you'd take a few drops of the stuff A E A E So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature D A E A For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys E A D For there's nothing like whiskey to make maidens frisky D A E A It soon separates all the men from the boys A E Come guess me this riddle: what beats pipes and fiddle D A E What’s hotter than mustard, and milder than cream? A E What best wets your whistle? What’s clearer than crystal D A E A Sweeter than honey, and stronger than steam? A E What can make the dumb talk? What can make the lame walk? A E A What’s the elixir of life and philosopher’s stone? A D E And what helped Mr. Brunel to dig the Thames tunnel? A E A Sure wasn’t it whiskey from old Innishowen? A E A E So stick to the cratur the best thing in nature D A E A For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys E A D And boys, I'd half wonder if lightning and thunder D A E A Was made from the plunder of whiskey me boys

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